The number 1 secret to transforming your life is taking 100% responsibility for it. Taking responsibility for the achievements and the failures, the wins and the losses, all of it. This is also one of the most difficult paradigm shifts to go through if you haven't yet, but don't fear...it's 100% worth it.
When I first learned this secret, my natural reaction was probably similar to yours. It was difficult to admit to myself that I was responsible for every win, every loss, every relationship, every experience. I did not want to take responsibility for all the difficult times in my life, while I would happily take credit for all of the good. What it comes down to is understanding that while you may not have consciously chose certain circumstances, difficulties, and hardships, you always have the power to react to them how ever you wanted to.
Initially, I felt resistance to this this concept. Not only applying it to my own life, but also thinking about my friends, and family and their difficult moments. How can I dare to tell any of you that you are responsible for everything in your life? Even the hard parts? I dare to tell you this because it is the truth and also because you need to know how much power you have to transform and create the life that you want. Zero change can come in your life until you accept that is 100% your responsibility.
It's important to remember that this isn't about beating ourselves up. This isn't about wallowing in our mistakes. This isn't about feeling guilty. This is about exercising discipline, self control, and finding a power within our selves that we sometimes forget is there.
When we take a good look at our situations and experiences and the role we have played in them, we can stop putting blame on external forces, and start taking life buy the reins. If your not where you want to be, stop letting external people, events, and obstacles hold you back.
Sometimes things happen, that are completely out of our control. Sometimes things happen that are truly no ones fault. So why claim responsibility in these situations? Because claiming responsibility in the hardest times is what gives you power in them.
You are an amazing, wondrous, human being, holding with you the gift of life. All of your potential, your hopes, your dreams, your unique being is in the gift. Dig deep, and find that inner strength to claim your life.